Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
