i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
