he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
This is classic penis vs brain.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
