Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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