I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
