We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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