You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
