Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
