he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
