If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
