How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
