I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
