conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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