I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
