so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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