In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
