yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
