i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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