At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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