i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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