Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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