I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
