Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
