Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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