You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
