he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
