We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
