What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
