so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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