Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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