Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
