That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
