Just fell off a train. Bad.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
