A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
