i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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