My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
