they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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