i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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