Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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