I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
