Pappa wants mamma naked
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just high enough for therapy.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
