so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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