We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
