apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
