Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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