i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
