You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
