so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
