Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
