I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
