I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
