she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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