Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So many bounce houses so little time
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
