So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
