I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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