I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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